NaNaWriMo-ing like it's 2007
Nov. 3rd, 2011 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
effexI went splunking in my GoogleDocs and ran across these NaNoWriMo snippets from 2007, which are... not bad. Totally unbetaed and I have no idea where I was going with it (possibly a romance/adventure), but amazing in a no-you-can-write-smack-to-the-head sort of way.
~-----~
The bridge of the starsloop Nicholas was awash with movement and noise; a dozen people, each dressed in their own approximation of the ship's gold and aqua standard, swirled around the com-stations; fingers flying across touch pads and voices holding at a gentle roar. Captain Marietta Nessuno stood at the center of the storm, eyes fixed on the growing asteroid field displayed on the main viewscreen, and let the excitement of her crew wash over her.
"I've got a fix, Captain!" A voice cut through the rest, "Looks like they're finally doing something about that leak, she's half a lightsecond starward, just outside the field, and slowing."
"Excellent, Emerson, thank you." Marietta didn't bother hiding the glee in her voice, she was long past keeping up appearances in front of her crew. "Any indication they know they're being tailed?"
"None, and it'd be a miracle if they did, the way their engine's leaking it's a wonder they can sense anything at all." There was grudging admiration in her com-officer's voice, "They must have a hell of a navi, that's for sure." There was a short nod from the navigation station to her right.
"Can you bring anything up on the screen, Emerson?" She asked. "It's about time we had a look at our prize."
"Way ahead of you, Captain." He pushed at his touch pad with a flourish and the view on the main screen shifted, zooming in on an unassuming collection of rocks. A half a dozen asteroids filled the image, the smallest visibly turning on their axles, there was the faintest glimpse of starlight on metal between their tumbling forms.
"We'll be in scanning range in just a moment," Emerson assured her, "but it seems like the Guild's information was good - she's a Xia starfreighter, or most of one, maybe 10 years old?" He frowned. "Which really shouldn't be have an engine capable of that much radiation output, but..." He trailed of, frowning down at his smaller screen, and Marietta left him to it. He'd surface from his puzzle if something important came up. She forced herself away from the main viewscreen and turned to the quiet presence at her side.
"What think you, Pierce?" Her first mate met her eyes and grinned, nearly as wide and, she suspected, manic as her own.
"It's a good day for a catch, Captain. And about damn time, too."
"Mmm," She agreed, resting a hip against the arm of her chair. She could never quite settle in it during any sort of action, but it made for an excellent perch. "Stripped a passenger liner clean of goodies and got away with naught but a hole in it's backside, for all it's lack of fire power. Have the transport companies really become as complacent as all that?"
He nodded, thoughtful, the beads strung throughout his braids rattling softly. "I'll ask around. This one, the," He glanced down at the com-pad in his hands, "Chios, is owned by the local branch of the Neptune Corporation, and where they lead the others tend to follow..." It would be very good news if true, and the end of their dry spell, so long as this incident hadn't knocked the sense back into them.
"Captain, I've just finished the deep scan." Emerson's voice broke through her revere. The image on the main screen zoomed in again, lines of color and text augmenting the faint visual. "Fifty three lifesigns, most of 'em on the upper deck. Layout's standard for it's class, although there are some crazy alterations back in the engines, and it's main-com refuses to crack. I could probably do it with some time, but she's a 'freighter, I shouldn't have to." He made an inarticulate sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "No unusual energy readings anywhere else, though, you shouldn't have to deal with more then sidearms."
"The reports we hacked from the Chios say they didn't have many, and those all lasers on low settings." Pierce added, the relevant documents appearing on her screen. He added, voice dry, "Not that they had much time to look, with all the hiding the officers were doing. Most of what we've got comes from their small security force."
"I'm more inclined to trust them, anyway." Marietta said wryly. "Tell the boarding crews to stand ready, if you please, Pierce. It's about time they got a little exercise." He nodded and turned away to his own station, issuing rapid orders into his com-set.
"Emerson!" She called out; the noise level had dropped considerably but the com-station was at the far left of the arc of the bridge, with both navigation and operations between him and her. She'd tried, once, to have him switch with Navigation officer Singh. Just once. "Open a channel for us, give them a chance to be civilized."
"Ever the optimist, Captain." He replied cheerfully. "You want the 'surrender' rider or the 'don't make us hurt you' one?"
"The standard surrender, if you please."
"Sending now." There was a long pause as the signal was broadcast into the space between the two ships. This close, reception was next to instantaneous; it was human reaction that caused the delay. And there was always a delay when the other ship realized just who was bearing down on them.
"Ha! They liked that. She's refusing to respond, Captain, and her engines are revving back up."
"Well, it seems they don't care to be friendly." Marietta replied, the wide grin on her face just short of painful. There was a soft whoop behind her, it sounded like ensign Kao, and her grin stretched even wider. "Just so."
"Take us in, Singh, see if they have any fight in them. If they run," she raised her voice, the weapons station was on the far right, past Pierce and tactical, "let them have it. Engines first; nothing that'll react to that leak, mind; then sensors. Nothing fatal, dead crews can't reveal their hidey-holes."
"Aye, Captain!" Came the reply, all around her, resounding off the walls and padded floor. She forced herself to sit, her smile turning sharp.
"The poor wretches won't know what hit them."
[insert battle here]
"How are the boarding parties coming along, Pierce?" It was the third time she'd asked in the past ten minutes but, as her crew insisted she stay on the bridge until everything was secure, they could put up with the repetition. Pierce, while also not allowed offship, was at least down in the transport bay; directing the crews as they shuttled between the ships with injured and the more important prisoners. "Has their captain arrived yet?"
"They're coming through the airlocks now, Captain," Pierce replied, the very soul of patience. "I'll send him up once the doc's scanned him over."
"Thank you, Pierce." She sighed and restrained from drumming her fingers on her com-console. The waiting did not usually bother her, but she'd felt the weeks of tedium as heavily as her crew, and the majority of them were at least seeing some physical action at the end of it.
"Captain," one of her squad leaders commed in, the main viewscreen shifting to show the livefeed from her party. "I've got a couple of folks here, claim to be prisoners off the passenger ship." There was a jolt in the video, as if a shoulder had been shoved, and the camera panned across a small room to settle on two figures, a woman and a man, leaning together on a low cot. "Do you want us to send them over?"
Marietta frowned. Neither the passenger ship or the Guild com-burst had said anything about prisoners, but it wasn't unlikely that they'd been missed in the confusion. The woman was young and pretty enough, with dark brown hair done up in an untidy knot and a pale complexion. The man was older, maybe 50 standard years, his hair black and much shorter, a livid bruise splashed across one cheek. Both wore finely tailored clothing, rather the worse for wear, and seemed well fed. Not the sort to be seen with lowclass outlaws, in the normal scheme of things.
"Just the two of them?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Send them over, have the good doctor see to them while I interview the captain. Put them in, hmmm." Both seemed exhausted, practically falling over as she watched, eyes focused on something just offscreen. The squad leader, she supposed. Neither showed any interest in talking to Marietta herself, which was strange; usually those as well to do as these appeared to be were always after talking to the person in charge. "Put them up in the infirmary for now, with a guard. Tell Doctor Patel to contact me when he feels them sufficiently recovered."
"Yes, Captain. Alright, folks, let's get you moving." The squad leader moved onscreen, offering her hands to the pair. "We'll get you looked over, find a nice bed..." Her voice faded out and the video receded to join the feeds from the other two squads.
"Pierce," she started, switching com-frequencies.
"The doc's almost done with him, Captain." He cut in, not impolitely, "I'll have him up as soon as I can."
"Thank you, Pierce," she replied, smiling, "but my intent was to inform you on the acquisition of two more guests - they should be arriving shortly."
"I thought we had all the officers?"
"We do, I believe. These are prisoners, taken from the passenger ship. If you could ask doctor Patel to wait for them?"
"Of course, Captain." he paused, then "looks like he's done with this one anyway, I'm sending him up now."
"Excellent." She nodded to the guards on the bridge, they smiled in return and took up positions, hands to their com-sets.
[insert bit here about interview with other captain here]
Alyssa woke slowly, her aching body at odds with the comfortable bed and cool surroundings. She frowned, keeping her eyes shut, and tried to push past the haze of sleep. The Linos was a luxury ship and well known for it's accommodations, but she couldn't remember anything that would make her so sore... oh. Her eyes snapped open and she huddled into the bed, pulling the blanket close around her. She *wasn't* on the Linos, she'd been captured and rescued. She started to shake, uncontrollably, and curled in on herself.
"Rescued." She whispered, and try to pull that memory up, to try and cover the ones that came before it. They, whoever 'they' were, had... wanted something badly. She and Kenji had tried to explain, over and over again, that whatever it was they didn't have it, they were just traveling starward, to the capital on Jei Li. It hadn't done any good and they had been kept awake, to weaken their will, probably, to give up secrets they didn't have.
Where was Kenji?
She peered out of her mess of bedding; the lights were dim, but there was a door on the far wall that was cracked open, giving enough light for her to see a human shaped lump on the bed next to her. She propped herself up on her elbow for a better look; yes, he was breathing softly, still fast asleep. He always slept deeper then she did, but she wanted him awake, needed him awake so they could figure this out. He might remember who had them now; she had been so exhausted that the rescue itself was a blur of light, voices, and an endless trip down corridors to a waiting shuttle. She had fallen asleep on the ride over.
"Kenji," she whispered, feeling a little guilty, "Kenji, are you awake?" There was no response and she tried again, a touch louder. A faint grumble rewarded her efforts and she climbed out of bed, blanket wrapped around her, and crept across the floor.
"Kenji. You've slept more then enough. Probably. We need to figure out what's going on." She pushed at his shoulder.
"Alyssa?" He asked, cracking an eye open to look up at her, "What's the matter?"
"Kidnapped, Kenji. Then rescued. Remember?"
He struggled into a seated position, looking around them with wide eyes. "Rescued?" He murmered. "Right. There were... soldiers? Do we know where we are?"
Alyssa sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "No, I don't know who has us. Probably a branch of the Navy, but if they said anything to us I don't remember it. That's why," she added reproachfully, "I woke you up. So we could find out."
~----~
And a later snippet from Pierce (I think?) about Marietta (who I'm picturing as Gina Torres, because who else?):
He sighed and rubbed at his hair. "Look, the thing about the captain is that she's..." His hand traced a circle through the air, "epic. Or as close to it as an actual person can come." The other two didn't show any signs of comprehension, so he plowed on. "It's like, she'll decide on a course of action, and it seems perfectly reasonable and straight forward at the time. It's not until you wake up the morning after it all goes down that you realize, fuck, we just took on the Garbon cartel. Or outran a Kaprun class cruiser. Or stopped a civil war. Hell, or caused one." All of which they had done, and those were the believable stories. Most days it seemed like he'd flown with the captain forever, and not just the 10 years since she'd pulled him out of the Garbon slave pits. Like he'd been born that day, not rescued.
I'd tear apart Alyssa's POV and kill at least half of those commas (look,nepenthe, I learn!) and ugh, 'slave pits', but... not bad.
~-----~
The bridge of the starsloop Nicholas was awash with movement and noise; a dozen people, each dressed in their own approximation of the ship's gold and aqua standard, swirled around the com-stations; fingers flying across touch pads and voices holding at a gentle roar. Captain Marietta Nessuno stood at the center of the storm, eyes fixed on the growing asteroid field displayed on the main viewscreen, and let the excitement of her crew wash over her.
"I've got a fix, Captain!" A voice cut through the rest, "Looks like they're finally doing something about that leak, she's half a lightsecond starward, just outside the field, and slowing."
"Excellent, Emerson, thank you." Marietta didn't bother hiding the glee in her voice, she was long past keeping up appearances in front of her crew. "Any indication they know they're being tailed?"
"None, and it'd be a miracle if they did, the way their engine's leaking it's a wonder they can sense anything at all." There was grudging admiration in her com-officer's voice, "They must have a hell of a navi, that's for sure." There was a short nod from the navigation station to her right.
"Can you bring anything up on the screen, Emerson?" She asked. "It's about time we had a look at our prize."
"Way ahead of you, Captain." He pushed at his touch pad with a flourish and the view on the main screen shifted, zooming in on an unassuming collection of rocks. A half a dozen asteroids filled the image, the smallest visibly turning on their axles, there was the faintest glimpse of starlight on metal between their tumbling forms.
"We'll be in scanning range in just a moment," Emerson assured her, "but it seems like the Guild's information was good - she's a Xia starfreighter, or most of one, maybe 10 years old?" He frowned. "Which really shouldn't be have an engine capable of that much radiation output, but..." He trailed of, frowning down at his smaller screen, and Marietta left him to it. He'd surface from his puzzle if something important came up. She forced herself away from the main viewscreen and turned to the quiet presence at her side.
"What think you, Pierce?" Her first mate met her eyes and grinned, nearly as wide and, she suspected, manic as her own.
"It's a good day for a catch, Captain. And about damn time, too."
"Mmm," She agreed, resting a hip against the arm of her chair. She could never quite settle in it during any sort of action, but it made for an excellent perch. "Stripped a passenger liner clean of goodies and got away with naught but a hole in it's backside, for all it's lack of fire power. Have the transport companies really become as complacent as all that?"
He nodded, thoughtful, the beads strung throughout his braids rattling softly. "I'll ask around. This one, the," He glanced down at the com-pad in his hands, "Chios, is owned by the local branch of the Neptune Corporation, and where they lead the others tend to follow..." It would be very good news if true, and the end of their dry spell, so long as this incident hadn't knocked the sense back into them.
"Captain, I've just finished the deep scan." Emerson's voice broke through her revere. The image on the main screen zoomed in again, lines of color and text augmenting the faint visual. "Fifty three lifesigns, most of 'em on the upper deck. Layout's standard for it's class, although there are some crazy alterations back in the engines, and it's main-com refuses to crack. I could probably do it with some time, but she's a 'freighter, I shouldn't have to." He made an inarticulate sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "No unusual energy readings anywhere else, though, you shouldn't have to deal with more then sidearms."
"The reports we hacked from the Chios say they didn't have many, and those all lasers on low settings." Pierce added, the relevant documents appearing on her screen. He added, voice dry, "Not that they had much time to look, with all the hiding the officers were doing. Most of what we've got comes from their small security force."
"I'm more inclined to trust them, anyway." Marietta said wryly. "Tell the boarding crews to stand ready, if you please, Pierce. It's about time they got a little exercise." He nodded and turned away to his own station, issuing rapid orders into his com-set.
"Emerson!" She called out; the noise level had dropped considerably but the com-station was at the far left of the arc of the bridge, with both navigation and operations between him and her. She'd tried, once, to have him switch with Navigation officer Singh. Just once. "Open a channel for us, give them a chance to be civilized."
"Ever the optimist, Captain." He replied cheerfully. "You want the 'surrender' rider or the 'don't make us hurt you' one?"
"The standard surrender, if you please."
"Sending now." There was a long pause as the signal was broadcast into the space between the two ships. This close, reception was next to instantaneous; it was human reaction that caused the delay. And there was always a delay when the other ship realized just who was bearing down on them.
"Ha! They liked that. She's refusing to respond, Captain, and her engines are revving back up."
"Well, it seems they don't care to be friendly." Marietta replied, the wide grin on her face just short of painful. There was a soft whoop behind her, it sounded like ensign Kao, and her grin stretched even wider. "Just so."
"Take us in, Singh, see if they have any fight in them. If they run," she raised her voice, the weapons station was on the far right, past Pierce and tactical, "let them have it. Engines first; nothing that'll react to that leak, mind; then sensors. Nothing fatal, dead crews can't reveal their hidey-holes."
"Aye, Captain!" Came the reply, all around her, resounding off the walls and padded floor. She forced herself to sit, her smile turning sharp.
"The poor wretches won't know what hit them."
[insert battle here]
"How are the boarding parties coming along, Pierce?" It was the third time she'd asked in the past ten minutes but, as her crew insisted she stay on the bridge until everything was secure, they could put up with the repetition. Pierce, while also not allowed offship, was at least down in the transport bay; directing the crews as they shuttled between the ships with injured and the more important prisoners. "Has their captain arrived yet?"
"They're coming through the airlocks now, Captain," Pierce replied, the very soul of patience. "I'll send him up once the doc's scanned him over."
"Thank you, Pierce." She sighed and restrained from drumming her fingers on her com-console. The waiting did not usually bother her, but she'd felt the weeks of tedium as heavily as her crew, and the majority of them were at least seeing some physical action at the end of it.
"Captain," one of her squad leaders commed in, the main viewscreen shifting to show the livefeed from her party. "I've got a couple of folks here, claim to be prisoners off the passenger ship." There was a jolt in the video, as if a shoulder had been shoved, and the camera panned across a small room to settle on two figures, a woman and a man, leaning together on a low cot. "Do you want us to send them over?"
Marietta frowned. Neither the passenger ship or the Guild com-burst had said anything about prisoners, but it wasn't unlikely that they'd been missed in the confusion. The woman was young and pretty enough, with dark brown hair done up in an untidy knot and a pale complexion. The man was older, maybe 50 standard years, his hair black and much shorter, a livid bruise splashed across one cheek. Both wore finely tailored clothing, rather the worse for wear, and seemed well fed. Not the sort to be seen with lowclass outlaws, in the normal scheme of things.
"Just the two of them?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Send them over, have the good doctor see to them while I interview the captain. Put them in, hmmm." Both seemed exhausted, practically falling over as she watched, eyes focused on something just offscreen. The squad leader, she supposed. Neither showed any interest in talking to Marietta herself, which was strange; usually those as well to do as these appeared to be were always after talking to the person in charge. "Put them up in the infirmary for now, with a guard. Tell Doctor Patel to contact me when he feels them sufficiently recovered."
"Yes, Captain. Alright, folks, let's get you moving." The squad leader moved onscreen, offering her hands to the pair. "We'll get you looked over, find a nice bed..." Her voice faded out and the video receded to join the feeds from the other two squads.
"Pierce," she started, switching com-frequencies.
"The doc's almost done with him, Captain." He cut in, not impolitely, "I'll have him up as soon as I can."
"Thank you, Pierce," she replied, smiling, "but my intent was to inform you on the acquisition of two more guests - they should be arriving shortly."
"I thought we had all the officers?"
"We do, I believe. These are prisoners, taken from the passenger ship. If you could ask doctor Patel to wait for them?"
"Of course, Captain." he paused, then "looks like he's done with this one anyway, I'm sending him up now."
"Excellent." She nodded to the guards on the bridge, they smiled in return and took up positions, hands to their com-sets.
[insert bit here about interview with other captain here]
Alyssa woke slowly, her aching body at odds with the comfortable bed and cool surroundings. She frowned, keeping her eyes shut, and tried to push past the haze of sleep. The Linos was a luxury ship and well known for it's accommodations, but she couldn't remember anything that would make her so sore... oh. Her eyes snapped open and she huddled into the bed, pulling the blanket close around her. She *wasn't* on the Linos, she'd been captured and rescued. She started to shake, uncontrollably, and curled in on herself.
"Rescued." She whispered, and try to pull that memory up, to try and cover the ones that came before it. They, whoever 'they' were, had... wanted something badly. She and Kenji had tried to explain, over and over again, that whatever it was they didn't have it, they were just traveling starward, to the capital on Jei Li. It hadn't done any good and they had been kept awake, to weaken their will, probably, to give up secrets they didn't have.
Where was Kenji?
She peered out of her mess of bedding; the lights were dim, but there was a door on the far wall that was cracked open, giving enough light for her to see a human shaped lump on the bed next to her. She propped herself up on her elbow for a better look; yes, he was breathing softly, still fast asleep. He always slept deeper then she did, but she wanted him awake, needed him awake so they could figure this out. He might remember who had them now; she had been so exhausted that the rescue itself was a blur of light, voices, and an endless trip down corridors to a waiting shuttle. She had fallen asleep on the ride over.
"Kenji," she whispered, feeling a little guilty, "Kenji, are you awake?" There was no response and she tried again, a touch louder. A faint grumble rewarded her efforts and she climbed out of bed, blanket wrapped around her, and crept across the floor.
"Kenji. You've slept more then enough. Probably. We need to figure out what's going on." She pushed at his shoulder.
"Alyssa?" He asked, cracking an eye open to look up at her, "What's the matter?"
"Kidnapped, Kenji. Then rescued. Remember?"
He struggled into a seated position, looking around them with wide eyes. "Rescued?" He murmered. "Right. There were... soldiers? Do we know where we are?"
Alyssa sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "No, I don't know who has us. Probably a branch of the Navy, but if they said anything to us I don't remember it. That's why," she added reproachfully, "I woke you up. So we could find out."
~----~
And a later snippet from Pierce (I think?) about Marietta (who I'm picturing as Gina Torres, because who else?):
He sighed and rubbed at his hair. "Look, the thing about the captain is that she's..." His hand traced a circle through the air, "epic. Or as close to it as an actual person can come." The other two didn't show any signs of comprehension, so he plowed on. "It's like, she'll decide on a course of action, and it seems perfectly reasonable and straight forward at the time. It's not until you wake up the morning after it all goes down that you realize, fuck, we just took on the Garbon cartel. Or outran a Kaprun class cruiser. Or stopped a civil war. Hell, or caused one." All of which they had done, and those were the believable stories. Most days it seemed like he'd flown with the captain forever, and not just the 10 years since she'd pulled him out of the Garbon slave pits. Like he'd been born that day, not rescued.
I'd tear apart Alyssa's POV and kill at least half of those commas (look,
nepenthe, I learn!) and ugh, 'slave pits', but... not bad.
