Decision Making 101

[effex]

I had a bit of an epiphany on the bus this morning, as you do. I've got a lot of anxiety right now - last night's post is a prime example - and a good chunk of it is tied up in other people. I know what I want, but I'm afraid of my choices being judged and found wanting by my parents/friends/strangers on the street. It adds to my confusion, it adds to my stress, and it's a terrible way to live.

I'm going to try and panic less and make decisive decisions more. I'm also going to try remembering that my anxiety and depression are an Actual Thing and be kinder to myself. I'm also x2 going to try and stop panicking all over this journal, it's never as cathartic as I think it's going to be.

I'm going to cancel tomorrow's interview - seeing it through isn't a good choice for me. This'd be true even if I hadn't woken up voiceless and coughing.

Next decision: do I still take tomorrow off (I still have 2.5 days PTO and won't get it otherwise) or do I come in and get some work done (there's a lot of it). Hmmm.

Comments

[sitara]

take the time off! take it!!!!!!

and i can v much empathize with the decision-making thing. im used to making decisions committee-style-- i solicit a whole host of opinions from trusted fam and friends but often it just confuses me more and makes me trust myself less. the only person who lives your life is you though! (i often have to remind myself of this, so its not meant as preachy. just like, hey, thats my mantra too.)

also take care of yourself! i am going to make you lots of tea if you are still sick when i get back. maybe even if not, because its just tasty.